My Immediate Family

This is my family at my youngest brother Tim's wedding. Ain't they just the cutest things ya ever did feast yer eyes on? Tim's new wife's name (and my new sister-in-law!) is Shelley. We're keeping her.

Signs Nicole and I Are Aging

She carries a pill box and I now have two prescriptions I take every night – plus nasal spray in the morning.

We enjoy driving around looking at other peoples’ landscaping.

I can’t sleep past 9 and she can’t sleep past noon.

We watch A&E more than MTV.

Getting over a long night out takes a long day in instead of a few hours.

She falls asleep hugging a heating pad instead of a bottle.

Our friends have kids who are teenagers.

Both of our cars have four doors.

Nicole acts like she’s my mother.

We watch what we eat instead of eating what we want.

We know what a gold finch looks like.

If we buy a boat, it will be a pontoon.

My Mother, My Sanity, My Wife's Toilet and My iPod

I consider myself a pretty technically savvy person. While I’m not a tech geek or anything, I know how to reset my ipod every time it freezes up on me. I now have programmed one remote to handle my whole entertainment system and turn everything on that I need at the push of a button. I can zoom around Windows Explorer and the endless files and folders on my computer like I’m deep among the clothes racks at Old Navy trying to keep up with my wife and I know which handle to turn to keep my her toilet from overflowing because I threw wadded up paper towels in it (yes, this happened last night and Nicole was actually impressed at how fast I moved when she screamed “my toilet’s about to overflow!”). So you can imagine my consternation when last night, after three hours of formatting then loading songs then syncing then formatting again then rearranging mp3 files then reloading then formatting then syncing and so on and so on and so on, I finally had loaded my mom’s latest mp3 player with the songs she wanted. I had no idea which songs actually uploaded to her player and how I even got them on there but there were songs I recognized on there and the player was working. Never mind that the ear buds wouldn’t have fit in Goliath’s ears or that you had to push three different buttons 17 times to adjust the volume or that she paid $50 for it (most likely at Aldi’s where you can buy two week old bread for a quarter) when I probably couldn’t have sold it at a garage sale for $10. It was transmitting sound and that was literally music to my ears. About the easiest aspect of the whole process was naming the mp3 player which I promptly labeled “Mom’s cheap crap”. My iPod took about five minutes to set up and Nicole’s took about two minutes. Remember how good I am with Windows Explorer? The iTunes music store is a stroll through strawberry fields compared to Explorer. So guess what my mother is getting as a gift out of the blue and as a gift to my sanity? Yes, an iPod. Now it’s up to my brothers (one who swears it’s all about the marketing – he owns one – and the other who is anti-iPod) to determine how nice the one she gets is going to be. I’m aiming for a refurbished 2 GB nano if they chip in with some money. If not, she gets a refurbished shuffle. Either way, I get my sanity back and the price will be well worth it.

Baby Making Update

The quest for a child continues. It’s now nearing three and a half years since Nicole and I started trying to have a baby and sometimes you can’t help but ask yourself if it’s all worth it. Month after month of trying, getting tested, taking pills, paying lab bills and stressing out while you wait starts to grind on you. At this point, I think Nicole’s the only reason we’re still trying. I think it’s more a “woman” thing that keeps her going. I’m ambivalent to the situation. On one hand, I would love to have a baby with Nicole. It would be a representation of the two of us and how much we mean to each other. It would be something we created together – our own blood. On the other hand, it’s not something that I need. I know how I feel about Nicole and how she feels about me and people see that in the way we treat each other every day. While I would love to have a baby with Nicole, I also wouldn’t mind adopting. It’s a viable option that we’ve both talked about recently and will probably start looking at a little more seriously if nothing happens by late summer. And who knows - maybe if we adopt, it’ll take the pressure off having our own baby and Nicole will get pregnant. It’s in God’s hands at this point. Only He can tell what the future holds for the two of us.

Playing Brangelina

While in Viet Nam, we were able to visit a couple orphanages. The first orphanage we visited was for children considered unadobtable. These were mostly school age boys and girls and a lot of them were either deaf, mute, or for a few very unlucky ones, both. Once these children reached the age of 18, they were either taught a trade or sent to college which the government paid for. The next orphanage we visited was for newborns up to toddlers and these children were adoptable. According to one of the ladies working there, the average time for the adoption process in Viet Nam was 1-2 years. Angelina Jolie's took four months and they want to try and tell us she was treated like everybody else. Uh huh. I'm not complaining, though. At least she's over there adopting and trying to make a difference. At the rate his daughter's-in-law are currently going, this picture may be the only chance my dad gets to see all three of them holding babies. Nicole and I actually discussed the adoption process while on the trip and set a quasi-deadline for trying it. It looks like we may wait until mid to late summer and see what, if anything, happens by then. If there's still no baby on the horizon, we'll most likely start looking at adopting a baby from Viet Nam. It'll probably be a girl so Nicole can stop playing dress up with Hazer.

One Year and One Day Anniversary!

Yesterday was exactly one year since we closed on our house. I can’t believe a whole year has gone by since we moved in. I guess time flies when you’re in your twenties. Or thirties. Which makes now as good a time as any to look back at the 9 most significant moments during our first year in our new home.

9. Ruben throwing up the night before Thanksgiving. Ruben is one of my best friends and never throws up so when he does decide to toss his cookies, ya know ya done good. At least he apologized the next morning. That was nice of him.
8. Cranking the volume on my dance club music higher every time the metal heads requested something with guitars in it on New Year’s Eve. A remixed club version of Lynyrd Skynyrd never sounded so good. Especially with Nelly rapping over the bass line. That'll teach them to complain about the music.
7. My pseudo throw down with the autistic boy around the corner. He’s lucky I only gave him a verbal smackdown. I about had to go all Lebowski on his arse.
6. Hanging out at my own bar doing nothing. Doing nothing has always been a focal point in my life. Being able to do it at my own bar is the proverbial icing on the cake.
5. Telling the autistic boy’s mother how I really felt about her. I can’t help it. Sometimes the truth hurts.
4. Getting a wireless network set up in my house and having absolutely no idea how I did it. I can now surf porn (Just kidding, mom and dad) anywhere within a 150 ft. radius of the router. I love technology!
3. Not realizing how intensely kitchen cabinets and counters burn until it was almost too late. The draft created from the fire was tossing tree limbs around 20 ft off the ground. I figured we might be in trouble when Shawn, looking whiter than the white bred boy he already is, asked how long our garden hose was and actually put down his drink.
2. Putting up all the Christmas lights in our yard (our driveway looked like a runway for a plane) only to realize I was living next door to Clark Griswold’s cousin. He had a real runway for Santa and his reindeer. It’s on now. Next year, I’m going all LCD!
1. Finally getting Nicole pregnant after trying for over three years. Just kidding. Maybe next year!

Going Back to Nam and Other Life Updates

My youngest brother's getting married on St. Patrick's day. For his honeymoon, he's going to Viet Nam. Luckily, he didn't care that the rest of the family tagged along so Nicole and I, my brother Ted and his wife Lauri and my mother are off to Viet Nam for two weeks at the end of March. I can't wait. We were able to find a hotel right on China Beach looking over the Pacific Ocean for $40/night. In Viet Nam, that's a lot of money considering the average worker makes about $1500/year. Tim and his fiancée, Shelley, are going to stay at a separate hotel than us because they want their privacy for some reason. Damn kids nowadays!

I had to call the popo last night when I got home from work because the neighbor's (they actually live around the corner) badass rottweiler/boxer/demonbeast dog tried to attack me and my two little shi-tzu's when I took them out to go pee pee and pooh pooh. I don't think I've ever dropped the f-bomb more times than I did when the owner came over and tried to corral Satan's four-legged spawn. I even went inside the house and grabbed my popo-certified bad-guy-beatdown mag-lite that weighs about 20 pounds and threatened to beat the furry evil-incarnate down with it. Then my senses (and my wife yelling at me to stop) took over and I realized it wasn't the dog's fault that Charon had ferried him halfway down the river Styx to await his judgment in Hades. It's the owner's fault. Dog's owned by humans generally don't become fiery evil-eyed beasts by themselves. You can blame that on the ignorant redneck owners.

My baby's back and looking better than ever! I got my car back from the body shop and it looks great. Since Nicole's best friend's husband owns the body shop, he really put some extra elbow grease into cleaning it up and it's as shiny as a brand new nickel. It didn't look that nice when I bought it. I even had to take a picture of it which I'll get posted on here as soon as I can.

Nicole and I found out we have a neighborhood whore cat. Not only does she already have some welfare kittens roaming around our backyard, she now is in heat and having sex within a few feet of our front porch. It's actually quite a site to witness. She had sex twice – with two different cats - this past Wednesday within a couple hours of each other. I personally thought it was too cold outside to be having sex but it didn't look like it bothered her. After all, she did it twice and seemed to like it. Maybe it was the snow falling on cedars all around her that created the romantic setting. After one of the young studs got done with his bizznass, he peed on one of the tires on my rental car! How rude. Of course it was spraying all over so Lord only knows where he was actually aiming his tool.

The Colts win the Super Bowl and then ... WHAM!

You've got to be kidding me. Sitting in my car on a highway off ramp on the way to work, I was in pure bliss enjoying my euphoria from the Colts win in the Super Bowl the night before and waiting for the traffic to clear so I could merge into traffic. All of a sudden, WHAM! My car lurches forward, my head snaps backward and the sound of metal crunching into metal reverberates through my body. Someone just rear ended me! The only thing I could think of was "You've got to be kidding me." When I had pulled up to the street and was waiting for the traffic to clear, there hadn't been anyone behind me. I never even saw him coming. I got out of my car and surveyed the damage. Luckily for me (I guess), most of the auto body parts and glass on the ground were from his car. However, my rear bumper cover was now dangling in the wind like one of Rex Grossman's passes and my left rear light cover looked like it had been smashed in by Bob Sanders' fist. Great. Apparently, the other driver couldn't get stopped in time and slid through the snow like a hiked football in Rex Grossman's hands. I guess I should have expected it. During my whole 1 ½ mile journey on the bypass, I passed one semi that had been rear ended by one car who had in turn been rear ended by another car, two other cars who had slid off the road into the ditch and two semis who has simply set "Screw it" and pulled their semis off the road to wait for the melee to pass. The officer who responded to my wreck said they had had 20 wrecks in 60 minutes on the bypass. In fact, we had two squad cars respond to our wreck that were actually looking for two other wrecks involving personal injuries. What a morning! It ended up working out as well as it could I guess. He happened to have the same insurance company as I do and the wreck will be covered as well as a rental while it's being fixed. I wonder if they'll pay for a Hummer? That would rock.

God bless the Republican Party, George W. Bush and the NRA!

This is my youngest brother, Tim, and his fiance, Shelley. I think the gun may have been about as tall as her. No, they're not having a shotgun wedding and yes, it does have a kick. Apparently, Tim felt it was necessary for Shelley to learn how to shoot a 12 gauge shotgun. You never know. Can you say "Red Dawn?" Notice how her finger is off the trigger? Now that's gun safety! Nicole actually had a flashback and threw her hands in the air and promptly spread her legs. I coudn't resist and frisked her. She was clean.

Why you ask?

Because I can! OK. This is my third attempt at creating a blog that will provide a glimpse into what is going on with Nicole and I. The first attempt ended up turning into a bunch of drama (plus they started charging me!) and the second attempt was limited to people with myspace user id's. This blog will strictly be about Nicole and I and things that interest us. It's mainly an attempt to keep all of our friends and relatives who live in far reaching areas of the globe informed and up to date with what is going on in our lives. To be honest with you, there's actually a lot going on right now between the house, trying to have a baby and heading to Viet Nam so it's a pretty exciting and eventful period in our lives. Hopefully you'll find it as exciting and eventful as we do! Enjoy!